feed friends mac n cheese just because it's what I feed myself!) and arranging a full meal for multiple people can be a bit of a mental hurdle when I tend to avoid the grocery store. Then one of my friends asked if we could get some people together. She would be more than happy to bring food for five people if I wanted to open my home.
This was a terrific idea! I try to keep my place relatively trim and hospitable, and having people over is an excuse to tidy up, not an inconvenience. Planning meals, for me, tends to be more stressful than running a feather duster over the TV and winding up the game console cords. For her, cooking a meal for multiple people was more fun and less inconvenient than cleaning her home, organizing schedules, providing directions, etc. It's really a win-win situation.
Another friend can bring DVDs or maybe a game to teach us. Last time this group came over, we got on the Internet and looked up lists of the 100 Best Books Ever Written and tallied up who had read the most. It was a lot of fun.
Sometimes it's easy to avoid gatherings of friends because of the financial or emotional costs involved, so it's tempting to go out to help alleviate these costs. But going to a movie theatre costs money. Going shopping costs money. Going to bars and restaurants costs money. Feeding people costs money. Driving costs money. If you can pinpoint exactly what you do like (cooking, maybe) versus don't like (cleaning, maybe) about getting together in one's home instead of going out, you can work with your friends to arrange something that is fun for everybody, costs little (both in money and in effort) and is something you can do on a regular basis. After all, most of the reason that we spend money going out with friends is because we want to build those connections. The connections that I value most over time are with people that I enjoy talking with in my living room.
Maybe you have a nice lawn and a friend with a croquet set. Maybe you know of a nice park and a friend with a frisbee. Maybe you have a nice tea set and a friend who knows of some good teas. Or maybe you have a new coffee table book and a friend who you'd like to sit next to and pour over it together. Maybe you have some stoneware clay and a friend who has a good garage for projects. Or maybe you have a bunch of fabric you've inherited and a friend with a sewing machine.
It's easy to let the overwhelming task of providing 100% for guests keep us from just showing up with half the story. But sometimes, showing up with half the story can help build stronger friendships. So what if you don't have any peanut butter for sandwiches? If you're willing to share the bread and the jelly, your friends might be more than delighted to share the rest.
