The Art of Lending

Wouldn't it be great to have all the gaming systems in the world in your living room, and you could use any one you wanted? You could have all your friends over for Rock Band concerts and also just to veg and play Mario Kart. 

Wouldn't it be great to have all the books in the world, and you could read them whenever you wanted and loan them out to friends, or they could come over and hang out on all the comfy chairs and giant cushions that you'd have as well.

Wouldn't it be great to have a world-class kitchen with all the latest gadgets, and people could come and hang out and cook for you just because your kitchen is so great?

Wouldn't it be great to be able to go into any craft store, like Michael's or JoAnn's, and be able to use whatever you wanted? You could try out new things just to see if you liked them, or to make presents for friends, or just because it looked cool. Or, you could get together with friends just to make stuff and hang out.

Wouldn't it be great to have access to all the clothes in the world for free? You'd never run out of things to wear, and you could always put together just the right outfit for that particular event. And friends would come to you and ask to help them pick out outfits. (Hat image courtesy of La Femme.)

In any economy, good or bad, none of us have enough money, time, or space to amass all the goodies associated with every hobby we have.  Whether it's power tools, office supplies, car mechanical accoutrements, there will always be somebody who has more and can do more stuff. And regardless of your own interests, specialty, or income level, there will always be something you can loan from your own personal library of accoutrements to other people who will want to share.

"But wait," you say. "I hate lending stuff because it comes back all icky and destroyed and I can never get it back."

That is because there is an Art of Lending.

Some basics to get started:

• Figure out what you enjoy sharing with other people.  Lending is a great way to start conversations with people on topics you both enjoy.  If you love books and love to discuss them, lend out your books to friends and future friends.  If you love doing art, loan your pastels to someone who dabbles i acrylics, and then hang out and talk about the results.  Recently, a friend had me over and we made jewelry with her copious supply of beads and findings.  She didn't charge me for supplies, and next time I'll have her over to paint or sew and I won't charge her for supplies. 

• Figure out what things are worth to you, and what they're not worth to you.  Lending out a movie to a sick friend means that the worst that could happen is that you spend $20 to replace it if it gets destroyed.  Lending out a handmade quilt for a friend's baby's picnic tablecloth means that the worst that could happen is that an irreplaceable heirloom gets destroyed with gras s stains and baby barf beyond belief. 

• Learn your personal lending style. Some people are the type to obsess over anything missing from their personal inventory.  They write their name in every book and never lend out their car.  This is really ok-- it is not worth loaning something out if it will stress you out so much, but be honest with yourself about where you stand on this.  Other people, on the other hand, could easily give away their posessions and never miss them.  Most of us fall somewhere in between. Knowing where you fall in this spectrum, and being realistic about what you're happy with can make the difference between feeling generous and feeling taken advantage of.  

• Know your friends.  Some people will return items in mint condition. You know if you loan them an outfit it will be returned dry cleaned with a bouquet of flowers and a thank-you note.  Other people will habitually trash items but be diligent about replacing them.  Still others will ask to borrow items but be perpetually late in returning them. Regardless of your personal lending style, take into account the person's borrowing style when you lend items.  If you continually lend to a person who is late in returning, and that just happens to be your pet peeve, it is your fault for not taking that into account when they ask you again and again. 

• Offer to lend stuff. If you recommend a book or a movie to a friend, offer to lend it.  If a friend asks you for fashion advice and you have the perfect accessory, offer to lend it.  If someone expresses interest in the type of leash you have for your dog, and you have an extra one, offer to lend them your extra leash so they can try it before they buy one.  Unless people are very close to you, they won't just ask, and it's a great way to build bridges.

• It's ok to say no. If you don't want to lend something, you don't have to. You don't need a reason. If your friend gives you a guilt trip, that's their problem.  And don't be an idiot-- if your friend returned something late the last ten times she borrowed something, don't rely on her returning it on time in order for you to do that big presentation at work.

• If it's important to you, there are a lot of home inventory software options available for free. Some of these, especially the home library software options, have modules written to keep track of the stuff you lend. Or you could just make yourself a spreadsheet. 

The wonderful thing about lending is that you don't need more stuff to share what you have with the people you care about.