Tips on How To Spend Money from your favorite Ladies' Magazine

So someone, somewhere, signed me up for a subscription to a popular Ladies' Magazine. I did not spend money on this. That is a vitally important point.

I won't mention the magazine by name because I don't want to get in trouble for plagiarizing their money-spending tips below.

So, I bring to you How To Spend Money, according to this Ladies' Magazine:

• Get healthy skin by buying more/better moisturizers and creams
• Fix your natural shortcomings by buying exfoliants, makeup, and more creams.
• Get your guy to clean up his act by buying manly shampoos, washes, and more creams.
• Do better in interviews by buying new clothes to make trendy, eye-catching outfits.
• Look good in the morning by buying better makeup.
• Stay younger longer by buying... you guessed it, better makeup and more creams.
• Take better care of your hair (which has been stripped, broken, and burned by buying perms, dyes, heat, and chemicals) by buying more/better hair products.
• Change your life by buying cutting-edge treatments for hair removal, hair addition, step cells, lasers, complexions, etc.
• Weather out the cold by buying coordinated raingear in matching colors and fancy waterproof watches
• Live "green" by buying new backpacks made from recylced fabric, organic sachets, biodegradable mats.
• Enjoy bicycling by buying a new bike and a new biking wardrobe.

Not only that, but you can lose weight by joining a gym class (instead of working out with friends), running on a treadmill (instead of through the park) and buying a food journal (instead of a simple 10 cent notebook)

Uh, what have we learned, Dorothy?

Incidentally, a great way to not spend money is to not buy magazines written for women with disposable income.